Today has been painful for me physically. I awoke to sharp pains all through my body to my fingertips and toes. Jordan came home early to help get me around and feed me until the pain medicine could begin to work. I am still unsure as to why the Lyrica has seemed to stop being as effective as it once was. I'm frustrated with the pain and the problems it is causing for my job. Jordan has told me that the job is just for me to have extra spending money and to have something to do while he is out at work but I feel as though I have an obligation to work and help support the family. This is proving to be difficult for me, even with my piano students. I am hoping to speak with my doctor this coming Monday about the way I have been feeling and see what she says about the meds I'm on and why they are not as effective.
Some people actually read my first blog post, which shocked me. I had some feedback that I probably shouldn't put it all out there about my grief and that I could get hurt. I guess I should speak to that some. I agree that putting everything out there is unwise. There is a certain amount that is beneficial and some that is going over the deep end. I don't intend to go over the deep end. After reading over the previous blog I can see how some saw that as scary and a little TMI about personal matters. However I do want to be as transparent as possible without going overboard. If I am offensive to anyone, that was not my intention. I simply want to journal my experiences out into the void and if the void answers than that is fine. I just needed a place to vent, learn, share, grow, and experience life in the written world. I want to change the way I look at grief and if that changes it for others it would be fine by me.
Now it's off to get some needed rest and hope that upping the dosage if the Lyrica will enable me to get to church tomorrow with as little pain as possible. Thanks to everyone for love and support. You make life exciting.
I love your transparency. You are highly gifted by the Lord and able to truly reach the depths of a human soul. xoxoxxxoo Don't ever doubt it.
ReplyDeletehey,
ReplyDeleteI feel as though this is your blog. You can do with it what you want. You can be as transparent as you want or as guarded as you want. If people are offended by your thoughts, feelings and emotions, then I think they need to understand... this is a blog. A journal! Even personal journals are full of raw emotion, and that is what this is.
Also, of course I'm going to read your blog! I am interested in you as an old friend and to be honest a nursing student. How you are handling and dealing with your grief is of interest to me.
The way you are handling this difficult time in your life is completely different from how I handle it. You are holding onto your baby's memory. I would handle this situation much different. And because i would, I am willing to see how you deal with it.
By the way, I know what I am saying could sound heartless, but it is not to come out that way. Ok?
I hope you made it to church today!
Keshia