Therapy

  Today I had my therapy session. We talked about the 10 best things and the 10 worst things ever to happen to me.  I have had many bad things happen over my life but losing Analece was the worst. However the session was pretty lighthearted for a change; not what I expected at all.

  My day overall has been stressful and exhausting. I was concerned that this might affect me emotionally because of being so tired, but I actually feel accomplished and good about the Recital and my wonderful students.  I've been feeling physically strange and of course panicked about being pregnant again. Silly of me I know. I think I want it so bad that every little hiccup or itch makes me think I might be.

  I thought more today about what I wrote about yesterday and I think that I've decided that wanting to be a mom before anything else is truly my heart's desire.  Guess I should tell Jordan what I have decided and how I feel about it. I'm excited that I came to a decision and that I will be able to start trying again soon. Though, even though I am excited, I am also apprehensive at what it will be like this time. For now I will just do my best to rest in the knowledge that God has me in His very capable hands.